please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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