But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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