Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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