Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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