Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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