i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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