yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
