coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
