So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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