I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
