he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
