she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
