90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just want nice things and good sex
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
