you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
