You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
