Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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