What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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