i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize