I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
