Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB