this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am