Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

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  (901): can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you. http://tfl.nu/uemu
  Replies (10) Good night (3272) Bad night (855)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..

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  (352): never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party.. http://tfl.nu/fqwv
  Replies (14) Good night (6664) Bad night (1089)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar

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  (616): They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar http://tfl.nu/bcnl
  Replies (37) Good night (1468) Bad night (9563)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.

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  (904): He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college. http://tfl.nu/3hcf
  Replies (19) Good night (2685) Bad night (6186)
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  (916): View more from California

  It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.

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  (916): It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her. http://tfl.nu/zc22
  Replies (25) Good night (1355) Bad night (4856)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

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  (503): just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care http://tfl.nu/jaq9
  Replies (7) Good night (2556) Bad night (840)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".

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  (647): A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe". http://tfl.nu/rgh4
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (2125)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Is it possibile to sprain your taint?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  She was that bad?

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  (208): Is it possibile to sprain your taint? (1-208): She was that bad? http://tfl.nu/0me7
  Replies (5) Good night (514) Bad night (1133)
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  (619): View more from California

  He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.

  (760): View more from California

  Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.

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  (619): He is just a personification of a vodka hangover. (760): Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes. http://tfl.nu/e8aw
  Replies (1) Good night (1152) Bad night (614)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?

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  (361): Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/01wo
  Replies (7) Good night (1298) Bad night (996)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...

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  (605): he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful... http://tfl.nu/18jg
  Replies (3) Good night (1200) Bad night (465)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.

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  (720): We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out. http://tfl.nu/ioyx
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (402)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.

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  (740): mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot. http://tfl.nu/qbz3
  Replies (0) Good night (763) Bad night (320)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.

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  (715): Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue. http://tfl.nu/ct5q
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (510)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France

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  (802): Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France http://tfl.nu/04j9
  Replies (0) Good night (410) Bad night (111)

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