Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.

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(925): View more from California

He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(819): View more from Quebec

I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.

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(309): View more from Illinois

You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Your shirt... Was in my pants

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