a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
