I bet he comes in French.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
