Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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