I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
