Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
