he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize