I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
