Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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