Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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