apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
