she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
