are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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