oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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