My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The uberlube is also flammable
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
