ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
