Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
