But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.