So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
