Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
