See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
