I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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