Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need moral support for this bender
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
