Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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