My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
