What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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