I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
