I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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