Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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