Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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