If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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