Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
is wine microwaveable?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize