ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
