ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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