whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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