yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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