We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
