I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
