mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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