the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
