In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
