Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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