Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
