Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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